"Something in the Air...."

Back in the days when I only sent out text via e-mail to the members of the newsgroup I put together, I had this nearly visual feeling of a group out there - and I'd imagine people receiving my e-mail, clicking on it and then reading it as they scrolled down the page.  True - any one of them could have forwarded it on to someone else or copy-pasted the text into a new e-mail, etc., but still - it was a finite list and I imagined a finite number of people who read the newsletter.  And then I posted the first one on-line....

Stage One - Suddenly there was this strange feeling... who was reading it and who would read it in days, weeks and months ahead?  How many people would read it?  Where were these people? 

Stage Two - Without noticing exactly when the boundary was crossed, things just drifted out of that strange zone and into a state of normalness....

Stage Three - Right now.  A year and a half since the first posting, and now I sometimes find myself thinking "Is anyone going to read this?".

Stage Four - The future....  I have no idea!  Is there a Stage Four?  Or will it cycle back to Stage One?

It's a strange thing about writing - you have an idea, you try to put it into words and you hope that it's of some interest to someone. On one hand it seems sort of hit-or-miss, but sometimes an idea begs to be put on the screen and you don't really care what anyone thinks of it - the act of getting it written and posted seems like the whole task.  It had to be done and whether someone likes it or not isn't the issue.  This is exactly the type of thing that tends to be well-received....  On the other hand... when you do care what people think and you push a little hard in a direction that you want them to think... look out!  This a dangerous thing to do!  You have a momentary feeling of glee as you whack the Enter key at the end and click on Send.  "Go get 'em!" you silently think.  Then, the next day arrives and - with the new sun - an in-box full of angry/over-enthusiastic/disappointed/etc. letters.

Ah... the disappoint of it!  The very text you write with the most enthusiasm often dumps you into the lowest level of shame!  Full meaning sitting in the air and begging for form in words is another matter however!  This seems to be the key.  There are things that need to be said, so when you find them, give them voice and/or form!  If you just want to say something, go ahead and try, but not too enthusiastically and try to look for something real in the air to fit in between the lines.....

Lyle (Hiroshi) Saxon
http://www5d.biglobe.ne.jp/~LLLtrs/
--
The shortest way home is the longest way 'round....